How To Start Healing From Complex Trauma And Dissociation

There’s something uniquely disorienting about living in a body that doesn’t always feel like home. About catching yourself zoning out mid-conversation and wondering where you just went—or noticing whole parts of your day feel blurry. Sometimes you feel everything all at once. Other times, nothing at all.

That’s the reality for so many people living with complex trauma and dissociation. And if you’re here reading this, maybe that includes you.

I want to say this upfront: if you’ve spent years trying to make sense of your emotions, your relationships, your body, or the way your memory works—you're not crazy, you're not broken, and you're not alone.

What is Complex Trauma, Really?

Complex trauma isn’t about one bad thing that happened. It’s about what happens to your nervous system, your sense of safety, and your ability to connect when the people who were supposed to protect you… didn’t. Or couldn’t.

Maybe it was emotional neglect. Or growing up with a parent who flipped between affection and volatility. Maybe it was abuse. Maybe it was never feeling seen, no matter how loud your needs were.

Complex trauma is slow and cumulative. And over time, your mind and body learn to survive however they can.

Dissociation: When Checking Out Becomes Second Nature

Dissociation is one of those survival strategies that doesn’t always feel like a strategy. It might just feel like “spacing out,” or not feeling connected to your body. For some, it shows up as feeling like a stranger to yourself. For others, it’s losing time—whole chunks of the day disappearing.

When the present moment feels unsafe, your system adapts. It disconnects. It numbs out. It keeps you going. But years later, that same coping strategy can make it really hard to feel grounded, to trust others, or even to know what you’re feeling.

It’s confusing—and it can feel really lonely.

Recognizing the Signs

Healing begins with awareness. Recognizing the signs of complex trauma and dissociation is a crucial first step. Symptoms may include:

• Emotional numbness or detachment

• Memory gaps or "lost time"

• Feeling disconnected from one's body or surroundings

• Difficulty trusting others

• Chronic feelings of shame or guilt

• Persistent anxiety or depression

If you identify with these symptoms, know that you're not alone, and support is available.

What Healing Can Actually Look Like

Healing from complex trauma and dissociation is not linear. And it doesn’t mean going back and rehashing every traumatic event in order. Honestly, that’s not even where I start when I’m sitting with a client.

Before anything else, we work on building safety. Internally and externally.

This might sound like:

• Learning how to recognize when you’re dissociating—and gently bringing yourself back

• Creating a predictable daily rhythm, even if it’s just brushing your teeth and drinking water at the same time each morning

• Practicing grounding techniques that actually work for your body (not just what Instagram tells you should work)

• Building relationships with people who feel safe, not just familiar

Sometimes the first big win in therapy isn’t a breakthrough—it’s realizing that you felt a feeling and stayed present with it. That matters more than most people realize.

Exploring Therapeutic Approaches

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to trauma therapy, but there are several methods I use and trust when working with clients navigating complex trauma and dissociation:

• IFS (Internal Family Systems): Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” this model invites you to get curious about your inner world. We explore the “parts” of you that learned to cope in different ways—and offer them compassion.

• Somatic work: Trauma lives in the body. You can’t just think your way out of it. Somatic approaches help you feel your way back into your body, safely and slowly.

• EMDR: For some clients, once enough stability is built, EMDR can help access and process old stuck memories without having to talk through every detail.

These tools aren’t the goal—they’re supports. And the best therapy is always built around your actual needs, not someone else’s blueprint.

Building a Supportive Environment

Healing doesn't occur in isolation. Surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding individuals can make a significant difference. Consider the following:

• Joining support groups for individuals with similar experiences

• Educating close friends and family about complex trauma and dissociation

• Setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being

A nurturing environment can reinforce the progress made in therapy and daily practices.

A Few Things I Want You to Know

If you have parts of yourself that you hate or fear… that’s okay. Those parts are trying to protect you in the only ways they know how.

If you’re just now realizing that your childhood wasn’t “normal”… that realization itself is a milestone.

If you’ve started setting boundaries and people don’t like it… that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

Healing from complex trauma is slow, layered, and deeply personal. You might have days where everything feels foggy. And others where it feels like a light is turning on inside of you. Both are part of the process.

And if dissociation has been a longtime companion—please be gentle with yourself. It developed for a reason. It stuck around for a reason. And you don’t have to rip it away all at once to get better. There are ways to stay with yourself now, little by little.

You’ve Already Begun Your Healing Journey

You’ve already done something meaningful by being here, reading this, letting these words sink in. That counts.

And if you’re ready for the next step, whether that’s finding a therapist, journaling more intentionally, or simply noticing when you drift—I want to encourage you: you’re allowed to take this at your pace.

Healing doesn’t have to look heroic to be real.

And you don’t have to do it alone.